I’m crying now
and holding space for that child.
How badly I treated her, for years.
Taking her for granted, ignoring her needs and wants, always asking her to swallow them.
Tomorrow, I would say to her, tomorrow.
Only tomorrow never seemed to come.
Funny, how I caught myself doing the same thing to my own children.
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
For never showing you any love and compassion.
For calling you names like undeserving and unworthy and other things that I would never dare say to anyone.
For thinking that almost everyone else in the whole world is better than you.
For always, always putting you last. That’s if you made it on the list at all.
For working you to death, mistreating your body. Treating you like an afterthought.
For thinking and saying things about you that no one should ever have to hear.
For hiding you, caring about everybody else’s opinion and trusting them more than you.
For always taking you for granted.
For forcing you to live in this small box that never belonged to you.
For silencing your voice, never giving you permission to speak your truth,
so as not to offend anyone as if protecting someone’s ego was more important than protecting your sanity and inner peace, even when they hurt you.
It was more important not to rock the boat you see.
I know it’s crazy.
Sorry for never seeking help even though I knew you were in pain.
Please forgive me for letting you live this way.
I am sorry, dear inner child.
Please forgive me
I love you
I promise to do better even though it scares that I might not be able to keep my word. .
Let your Phenomenal Shine always, LPS ?
.
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